Thursday, July 18, 2013

Things That Make Me Go #%*&^$#&*%^&*#$(*@&#&*^@#$

I’ve got a few negative things to get off my chest today. Clearing the air, so to speak, so I can move on to my happy place.

Here’s what’s bothering me today --

Neighbors who don’t feed their cattle. Sure there was a shortage of hay last year, and what was available was pretty expensive. Here’s a thought. If you can’t afford to feed your cows, sell the damn things! And while you’re at it, how bout you fix your POS fence. We’re really getting tired of having to chase your cattle off of our bean field and away from our hay. And why the hell doesn’t the Osage County Sheriff’s Department do something about it? We aren’t the only ones who have filed a complaint. I suppose it’s up to us to take him to small claims court for the crop loss. That’s bull shit.

Disclaimer -- If you are reading this and trying to figure out which neighbor I’m talking about, remember when you live in the country, the word neighbor applies to anyone within a 10 mile radius of not only your home, but your farm ground as well, which can be miles from said home. In other words – you’ll never guess, unless you are one of his neighbors as well.

Dumb People. As in seemingly normal people who know what they’re supposed to do, but are either too ignorant or too lazy to care. You know the type. You run into them all the time. At work, at the convenience store, at the grocery store, at work, at lunch, at work. You are trying my patience, dumb people. I suppose I should welcome the challenge of sharing the same air as you without saying something rude, but nope. For the love of all that is good and holy, please think before you speak, or better yet, just go away. Oh, and did I mention users?  People who could and should make every effort to help themselves, but would rather sit back and beg for help from others who are too kind to question their motives. Yeah, those people need to go away too.

Slow drivers. Everyone knows I drive too fast, and as I’ve been told more than once, I should slow down and enjoy the view. And sometimes I do that. But come ON people! At least drive the speed limit, ok? If you’re out on the Interstate, or some other 4 lane road, drive as slow as you want. I can pass you. But when you’re in town, unless you’re getting ready to turn, or need to change lanes, just move over and get outta my way, mmkay?

Mechanics. Specifically mechanics who think I’m just a dumb woman who knows nothing. Hey dummy – guess what? We got your number. Your bosses at the dealership aren’t selling enough new cars, so they’ve instructed you to find enough wrong on older vehicles to “total” the vehicle so we’ll buy something new rather than spend a fortune to fix the old beater. And hey – here’s a clue – don’t try to transfer me to a salesman right after you break the news that it’s going to cost $8600 to fix my 13 year old truck. I’m not as dumb as you look.  Oh and btw, I got it fixed.  And I only spent $700.  It's a miracle!!!
WELL. I don’t know about you, but I feel much better now! Moving on to my favorite 4 year old.

You know, I’ve know Carter admired Luke Bryan for a while now. After all, he did memorize the opening to Country Girl Shake It For Me. (Hey Girl….Come On Now….You Know You Got Everybody Lookin’) Nothing wrong with learning pick up lines from Luke Bryan. But after yesterday, I’m starting to wonder if he’s on the verge of turning into a stalker. The conversation went something like this

Carter: Meema? Does Luke Bryan know me?
Meema: no sweetie, Luke doesn’t know you.
C: well, where does he live?
M: oh, I don’t know for sure – probably in Nashville.
C: well we should go to his house!
M: I don’t know if he’s home. Plus that’s a long way from here.
C: well is Luke Bryan real?
M: yes, he’s real!
C: well we need to go to his house so I can meet him!
C: What kind of truck does Luke Bryan drive?
M: ???
C: I think it‘s white

Next thing you know he’ll be asking Siri for Luke Bryan’s phone number!

After watching the Emmys the last few years and seeing all of the awards go to cable shows I’ve never seen, I decided I needed to see what all the fuss was about. Enter Netflix and Amazon Prime. When the Emmy nominations came out today, I’m happy to say that I fully understand why so many went to awesome shows like House of Cards, Homeland, Mad Men, Downton Abby and Breaking Bad. Still need to check out Game of Thrones and Boardwalk Empire, but at least I won’t feel like the only girl without a Prom Date on Emmy night this year. There is one thing I’m still scratching my head over though -- why wasn’t Big Brother nominated for Outstanding Reality Show????

OK - I shared with you, now tell me what's bugging you!

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