Friday, August 27, 2010

Regrets

A good man died a week ago.  A man I knew because of my job.  I can't really call him a friend.  In fact, I'm not even sure he liked me.  I never really knew where I stood with him, unless he was disgusted with me, in which case he let it be known.  But the thing is, I can't fault him for that.  He had a job to do, and it was the most important thing in his life.  He was looking out for his daughter, because she's unable to look out for herself.  Plain an simple.  I tried using my humor and charm (ha) on him the first time I met him, and that went over like a lead balloon.  I was intimidated by this man, even though I tried my best not to be.  I think he liked that, not so much because he liked having power over me, but because he knew I would always think first about what was best for his daughter, thereby not having to face his wrath.  Can't fault him for that either.

When I learned of his illness almost two years ago, my heart hurt for him.  We all knew it was a death sentence.  I even spoke to him about his treatment and outlook a few times.  I expressed my sadness at the hand he'd been dealt.  After a year or so, he stopped coming by the office; his wife came instead.  I've enjoyed getting to know her.  Talk about polar opposites.  It's always hard to know what to say to someone going through a difficult time.  You can offer the usual; "you're in my thoughts" or I'm praying for you and your family" but somehow that doesn't always ring true for me.  His wife stopped coming by the office a few months ago, using the mail instead.  I considered sending a "thinking of you" card a time or two, but felt it might be unwelcome in his eyes.  I worried he would see it as an attempt to "suck up" for lack of a better term.  So I sent nothing. 

Yesterday, when I learned he had passed away, I felt an unexpectedly deep sense of sadness.  His obituary incuded a link to a Caring Bridge website his daughter started 4 months ago after he was moved to Hospice.  Her journal introduced me to a different man.  A husband, a father, a grandfather.  A man I regret not getting to know. 

If I learned anything from this experience, it is that when in doubt, say or do something.  Don't remain silent.  You may never get a 2nd chance.  Rest in Peace Art.

Friday, August 6, 2010

Are You Ready For Some FOOTBALL?!?!?!?!?!

I was searching for a new background for my blog when I  happened upon this little gem.  What could be more perfect, considering the Chiefs play their first preseason game one week from tonight!!!  Ahh football, I've missed you so.  That dang World Cup Soccer crap just don't cut it! 

In other news, Carterbug will be 18 months old on Sunday!  Can you believe it?  Where has the last year and a half gone!  I'm still watching him on Carterdays, and we're having all kinds of fun.  Well that is when he's with me.  Papa has begun kidnapping him for farm fun.  Hmp.  The other day they took the backhoe to go pick up a bale of hay.  Down the road.  Away from me.  Hmp.  He's also been showing him how to run the hoe.  And letting him do it himself.  Check out these videos!


Backhoe lessons start early



Getting the hang of things

Don't think Greg isn't loving this!!

As an early birthday present, my friend Amy took me to see one of my favorite bands, Hinder, in Kansas City this week.  We had an awesome time!  I love seeing bands play live, but concerts are usually so danged expensive.  Luckily this one was very affordable.  Thanks Amy!!!




One last picture of Carter before I quit.  This was from Wednesday morning, when he was supposed to be eating his Cheerios.  Only he fed them all to Hoss. 




What do you mean you burned my toast?????






Tuesday, August 3, 2010

Cutting edge! who? Me???

attempting my 1st blog post directly from the backflip. Since I have little faith in technology these days I think I'll make it short. It's been a busy summer full of Carterdays - just the way I like it! Looking forward to going to KC tomorrow night with BFF Amy and her girls to see Hinder. Hope it's awesome!

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