Sunday, October 19, 2014

What I Did On My Summer Vacation

By now I imagine most of you know how I spent my summer.  If not, you can read about it on the Caring Bridge site Erin started.  And several of you have asked when I would be returning to this blog.  Wow!  You missed me?  Turns out I have more readers than I realized! 


I've thought long and hard about whether or not I should write about the accident.  More to the point. COULD I write about it?  Fortunately, I haven't had nightmares or flashbacks to the fire.  I've told the story so many times, at this point I'm pretty sure I say the exact same thing, word for word.  No deviating.  No thinking about what could have been.  No concentrating on the fear or the pain.  It's all about the recovery.  Not that I remember much about that.  The first 4-5 weeks in the KU Burn Unit are pretty foggy.  Gotta love narcotics!  What I do remember is the wonderful care I received from the nurses, some of the visitors (sorry if you came early and I didn't remember!) and the tons of cards I received.  


Not so surprisingly, this whole experience has been life changing.  I've certainly learned a lot about myself.  For the first time in my life, people are telling me how strong I am.  The Doctors, nurses, and therapists all praised me for my determination to get better.  They were amazed at how hard I worked to get back on my feet and home.  Well guess who is even more amazed?  Yep - that would be me.  My entire life I've considered myself the complete opposite from the person I became this summer.  The real challenge will be to see if I can retain these qualities. 


My relationship with Greg was also drastically affected.  He's not really the type to discuss these things, but I believe the thought of losing me scared the bejesus out of him!  His caring side came roaring out and took over.  It was nice to be reminded that he really does love me. 


I always knew how strong Erin is, but boy, let me tell you, she kicked butt when it came to taking care of her momma!  I'm so lucky to have such a wonderful, caring daughter. 


Friends.  Boy oh boy do I have some awesome friends.  Not that I didn't already know that, but they not so subtly reminded me just how lucky I am to have such generous and caring people in my life.  I'll never ever take them for granted.   


We're 4 months out now, and things are going well.  I rushed back to work just a week after getting out of rehab.  Turns out that might not have been the best idea.  My employer, who, did I mention, has been awesome throughout this whole thing?  Anyway, they agreed to let me cut back to 6 hour days for now, until I can get my strength back.  It's not easy to accept that your body won't let you do what your mind thinks you can do.  I'm working on that. 


Last thing -- a big thank you to all of you.  When I went back and read all of the FB posts and Caring Bridge messages, I felt the love.  And then I cried.  But they were happy tears, so it's all good.